How Not to Date: A Series of Unfortunately Hilarious Events

How Not to Date: A Series of Unfortunately Hilarious Events

That #singlelife, though. Right?

Too frequently, I joke around that I am “single ‘n ready 2 mingle.” A friend of mine, who went through a really tough breakup, suggested that we sign up for some dating apps together. “Let’s Tinder and Bumble together,” she would say, laughing. But I knew she was actually serious.

So she came over, we poured ourselves some drinks, and we began the infernal download.

If you’re reading this, you are probably already familiar with both of these dating apps. But, if not, I’ll explain the difference between them.


With Tinder, you have the ability to create a verbose profile description about who you are and what you’re looking for. As you filter through profiles, you’ll see that some people are more creative than others, more verbose than others, more sarcastic than others, etcetera. Everything comes from scratch, but you have lots of space to describe what you want.
You can add up to six profile photos, set your orientation, and the mileage radius within which you would like to find someone.
Swiping left means you aren’t interested. Swiping right means you are interested. If that person has also swiped right for you, you’ll be notified that you’ve matched and either of you can message the other first.

With Bumble, you can create the same type of profile as Tinder allows you to, but you need to be more concise with your words. It also gives the option of looking for “friends only.” This is helpful for those who have moved to a new city and are just looking to connect with fellow friendly faces.
But here’s the kicker about Bumble. If you are looking for a heterosexual relationship and you match with someone, the female has to message the male first in order to start a conversation. And, as if that wasn’t pressure enough, the female has just 24 hours to start the conversation. And as if that wasn’t pressure enough, the counterpart has just 24 hours to respond in order to cement the match and get talking.

Another difference I’ve noticed between the two is that Bumble has a higher number of individuals with professional, high paying careers. I feel like it may filter out those who are just looking for a simple “hook-up” or a date without anything super serious in the end. But, this is just me speaking from my experience.

So, that is my introduction to Tinder and Bumble. I have had so many strange and funny things happen because of these two apps that I am starting a web story on my dating experiences. Stay tuned for more! Hopefully there will be a point when I don’t have anymore horror stories to tell…