The term “going dutch” originates from the construction of a traditional Dutch door, which consists of two equally split horizontal sections, as seen in many farmhouses.
In dating, however, “going dutch” means that each partner pays for their own part of the bill, whether it be at a restaurant, mini golfing, the movies, etcetera. This is actually a pretty standard method of ending a date in modern times.
I have always grown up with a “pay your own way” attitude, because I don’t believe that anyone, even on a date, owes me anything. Especially if I don’t know someone very well! So, I never go on a date expecting to be paid for unless the person makes mention of it beforehand (to which I usually begin to argue back and forth about it), and then I obviously have a heads up.
My first ever tinder date was an actual disaster, and I am going to tell you all about it.
I matched with a gentleman (we will call him Tinder 1) who seemed very kind, funny, and a little odd (because that’s how I like ‘em). We had mutual friends and my best guy friend said very nice things about Tinder 1. After talking for a couple of weeks and seeing each other on the street one lovely day, Tinder 1 asked me if I would ever want to go on a date. I said yes.
We met at my house and walked to the restaurant of my choice. I always pick a less expensive restaurant when given the choice for a first date, because again, I never want anyone to think I’m an expensive, hard to please, high maintenance young lady. We sat down at our table and our server asked us if we wanted anything to drink. I ordered water, and my date ordered a beer. We opened our menus and he motioned to the menu, saying “Get whatever you want.”
Cool. I thought.
We placed our order, and as I began to settle into my seat, wanting to ask him about his day, he pulled out his phone. But he wasn’t even answering a text message or a phone call or anything pressing. He went on Instagram. Then he answered some texts. Then he went back on Instagram. Then Facebook. Then answered some texts. I literally was talking to a brick wall.
I was definitely bitter about it.
Our food came, and we ate our meals saying little to nothing. I had ordered a sandwich with a side of fries which equaled out to just $14 with tax. The server cleared our places and asked if we were ready for our bill and if we wanted the bill “together.”
This is where it gets good. Oh, this is where it gets sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.
“No,” said Tinder 1. “We’ll take separate checks.”
What the fudge? Was this dude serious? “Get whatever you want,” and then you ask for “separate checks?” I paid my bill, I hugged him goodbye, but I did not kiss him goodnight.
I laugh about this now, and have actually posted about it on my Facebook. His best friend even commented, saying, “What a jerk!” (except replace “jerk” with a rather unkind word). It’s actually really funny to me that this guy obviously said “Order whatever you want…” without adding because you’re gonna pay for it at the end!
This is how not to date.